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9.14.2005

The Small Presser, No. 14: "Time to Reevaluate"

This is more of a reflective article, but maybe you can pull something useful out of it. Perhaps when you’re down in the dumps, you can call up this little piece for some inspiration.

I had high hopes of being a nominee for best minicomic for this year’s Ignatz Awards. I mean, Mr. Big #4 is about the best I can do. I thought the story was decent, the art was decent, and I especially thought the cover was eye-catching. I had a good feeling about it.

So when the SPX folks announced the nominees this week, I was a bit crushed not to be on the list. Not only because I didn’t make it, but because I didn’t necessarily think I could make a better comic (not that it was superb and simply couldn’t be topped, but I personally don’t have the skills needed to make a better book).

That got me thinking about what awards are for and why I wanted one. Really, they’re just a way to justify that you’re a recognized comic creator, right? Perhaps the right to walk with a little swagger that you simply couldn’t do before for fear that someone might call you an unaccomplished ass? But now with an award in hand, well, ha!, they can’t say that anymore, can they! Yes, personally I think that’s why I seek awards for my work—simply to justify it and get recognition.

When I was named a finalist for the 2003 Day Prize, I felt energized and thrust my fist in the air. Yes! Recognition! Just making the list was a success! I even got my name and book mentioned in Cerebus!

Sure, I haven’t made the finals for many an award, but I think this one was especially tough because I really poured my heart and soul into the book, and like I said, I simply can’t do better, so that means that there’s also no promise for any future awards, in my opinion.

But that got me thinking further. Why am I self-publishing? Is the point to win awards? Do I want to find a publisher to print the series as a trade book? Do I have higher aspirations in the comic-book world?

I reevaluated exactly why I started doing comics again after a 15-year hiatus. It was because I enjoy drawing and telling stories. I did it for personal gratification. I did it so why I’m dead and gone, my kids and grandkids can look at my comics and say, “My granddad did these!,” no matter how shitty or excellent the comics are. I did it to work creatively with my wife, Carol, and to let our creativity fly. I did it for myself.

So, if you ever get deflated cause your book didn’t make the A-list, take a step back and ask yourself why you do comics in the first place. It helped me get back on track to being my cheery ol’ self!

Beside, Mr. Big #5 is waaaaay better!

Dembicki at 2:52 PM  |  link to this     

8 Comments

Yeah, man, it's hard but you really have to create stories for yourself in order to get any real fulfillment. Just my opinion.

But I bet you'll nab an award at some point. Mr. Big continues to impress.

Chris at 9/14/2005 3:42 PM   

Agreed. Awards and recognition are nice (I wouldn't know yet :P), but enjoying the craft, watching your progress from page to page and issue to issue, and doing the best job you can at the moment of creation are, I find, the most important things to focus on...they're certainly the things that have kept me going for the past year or so, and I know they'll keep me going for much, much longer.

meow at 9/14/2005 9:05 PM   

As one of the few to see the newest Mr. Big in advance, I agree that this is your best work and also more complex, detailed, and consistent than most. It's like that rubber band analogy where you do it as a labor of love, then the stretch---you get some great press and reviews and start to cultivate and crave more, and then you spring back---to the beginning, where you are most happy---creating for reasons that are personal.
I go through this in cycles--I'm so familiar with the arc of it----I have to decide what's most important and often, I lunge for the money and tell myself it's also for personal fulfillment. Sometimes it's true.

Deb at 9/15/2005 9:13 AM   

You know, I always look forward to reading your column Matt. You just keep getting more and more inspirational. Someday Mr. Big will be an award winning film starring Tom Hanks. You'll get your accolades then my man!

Jacob at 9/16/2005 8:28 AM   

And here I thought you created Mr. Big just for me. ;)

Kidding, but that's kind of what I feel like when I read Mr. Big. It's a special story and it makes me feel good, no matter what kind of day I'm having.

So, there's that.

Awards are nice, I'm sure, but when you can make a reader feel like that, you're already golden.

Shawn Hoke at 9/16/2005 7:38 PM   

Thanks, everyone.

Shawn, that's a good point. There's one thing more depressing than doing your best and not getting accolades; that's winning an award and not making any sales! I certainly would rather have books selling like hotcakes than win an award. (And thanks for the nice review, Shawn--I got several orders due to it!)

Dembicki at 9/19/2005 7:55 AM   

interesting!

Humour and last laugh at 9/20/2005 9:30 PM   

interesting!

Humour and last laugh at 9/20/2005 9:30 PM   

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